Oh the weather outside is frightful (well, not yet)
It’s mid-November and all across this vast country weather forecasts are starting to use that four-letter word that no one is ambivalent about – S N O W. Yes, that’s right we are heading towards another Canadian winter. Without fail this even seems to take people who have lived here all their lives by complete surprise.
What? Winter? Already? It can’t be! AHHHHHHHHH
Let me get this straight. All of us souls up here north of the 49th live in a country with four seasons (although never having lived above the tree line, I’m not sure exactly what the seasons look like in the Arctic – Proud Mum?). Winter seems to come every 12 months or so without fail and tends to hang around for at least 3-4 months (unless you live in Vancouver and once or twice a decade you have to go out and shovel in your Birkenstocks). Winter is something that Canada is known for, and we quite often export Arctic air flows south of the 49th to balance the hurricane remnants that come north.
I’ve lived in Southern Ontario all my life. For those of you unfamiliar with Southern Ontario, we have a really interesting climate. Surrounded by the Great Lakes, we have very moist air. A humidity level of 40% is very dry for us and in the summer the humidity levels can stay up above 90% for weeks on end. We can go from a maximum sustained temperature of 38 to a wonderful -30 in the winter (not counting Humidex or Wind Chill – Oh, that’s in Celsius). But I love the fact that we actually have four distinct seasons. It allows you to measure your life and you can always remember what time of year things happened.
Yet, it becomes a Canadian tradition to complain, go into denial and just try and forget what will soon come down and cover the ground in a clean white blanket ready for the rebirth of life the following spring (whoa – too sappy!).
So, after that long setup, here are the types of people that get on my nerves at this time of year. What is really funny (to me) is that many people actually fit into more than one of these categories.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
What? Winter? Already? It can’t be! AHHHHHHHHH
Let me get this straight. All of us souls up here north of the 49th live in a country with four seasons (although never having lived above the tree line, I’m not sure exactly what the seasons look like in the Arctic – Proud Mum?). Winter seems to come every 12 months or so without fail and tends to hang around for at least 3-4 months (unless you live in Vancouver and once or twice a decade you have to go out and shovel in your Birkenstocks). Winter is something that Canada is known for, and we quite often export Arctic air flows south of the 49th to balance the hurricane remnants that come north.
I’ve lived in Southern Ontario all my life. For those of you unfamiliar with Southern Ontario, we have a really interesting climate. Surrounded by the Great Lakes, we have very moist air. A humidity level of 40% is very dry for us and in the summer the humidity levels can stay up above 90% for weeks on end. We can go from a maximum sustained temperature of 38 to a wonderful -30 in the winter (not counting Humidex or Wind Chill – Oh, that’s in Celsius). But I love the fact that we actually have four distinct seasons. It allows you to measure your life and you can always remember what time of year things happened.
Yet, it becomes a Canadian tradition to complain, go into denial and just try and forget what will soon come down and cover the ground in a clean white blanket ready for the rebirth of life the following spring (whoa – too sappy!).
So, after that long setup, here are the types of people that get on my nerves at this time of year. What is really funny (to me) is that many people actually fit into more than one of these categories.
- The denial junkie – Snow already? But it’s only November! I hate snow. When is it going to be summer again? Blah blah blah. You live in a country with seasons. You live in a country known for snow. If you don’t like it, there are many countries and areas of the world that don’t get any of this fluffy white stuff. They may even actually be happy to see you.
- The White Christmas Winter – I’m really annoyed when I hear “I only love snow when it is on the ground from December 22 – 27. After that it can go away.” Well, I’m very sure that if you did an exhaustive search of global meteorological data that you could find the 5 square meters of the earth’s surface that actually fit these criteria and move there. As for Canada – where you live – we just haven’t gotten to the point where we can dictate when and where we will get the white stuff.
- What is this stuff on the highway? – When the first significant snowfall of the year comes (read – “actually stays on the ground”), I like to stay home. Why, because commuting into and out of Toronto is a nightmare on those days. There is a certain subset of drivers that forget we have winter and obviously never listen to the weather report. All they see is this “white lumpy rain” and continue to drive like it’s a bright sunny day in July. So traffic becomes a mess because of these people. It’s really funny though, most of the vehicles I see scattered off the road during a snowstorm are usually the “safe” SUVs. It makes you wonder.
- Wanna-be Snowbirds – Now these people really get me. These are the people who say “I hate winter, I’m going to move to Florida”. Now, I have nothing against Florida, but why would your first choice for permanently escaping winter be an area that over the past few years has been a favourite target of hurricanes? Oh, I know, they’ll move back to Canada for hurricane season. Give me a break.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
posted by Mike at 8:57 p.m.
6 Comments:
I just wanted to point out that Southern Ontario is actually below the 49th parallel, although most of Canada is above it.
we get a fair share of snowbirds here in the phoenix area. it wouldn't be so bad except no one ever bothers to learn the traffic rules. between certain times in the morning, and certain times in the evening, some of our turn lanes revert to through lanes. so we get a lot of old women with blue hair hitting their breaks in the middle of rush hour traffic to make a left handed turn into oncoming rush hour traffic while legally they should be plowing straight ahead. good times.
ROFL!
(There were too many funny parts to innumerate. Well done! Oh, but I didn't grow up above the tree line, sorry. Looked pretty much the same as the rest of Canada --except, yes, Vancouver and Victoria-- but lasted longer. Our seasons were: winter and construction.)
FF: how do the purple haired ladies drive? Are they as poor drivers as the blue haired ladies?
Oh Fourth Fret I TOTALLY remember the turn lanes that became through lanes. 7th Avenue and 7th Street. I like driving those roads cause it really was faster, but you're right about the old people that don't read the signs and then get rearended cause they try to make a left turn! AHH!!
Mike, I look forward to snow. We really don't get much of it and besides the two years I lived in Idaho I've lived in places that really aren't too famous for it either. :-) My birthday falls between Christmas and New Years, I always hoped there would be snow on my birthday. Where I grew up in WA and here in NM, IF it snows, don't be surprised if its gone by the time it gets dark!
I know those types. I'm not quite sure where I fit in there. I don't like cold or snow, but I've accepted that it will snow and there's nothing I can do about it, so I don't complain. I just huddle up in front of the fire with a mug of hot chocolate.
I don't understand type #1. It's almost the middle of November, they should be happy this didn't happen a month ago. I remember two years in the past 10-15 where there was no significant snowfall by this time, and it stayed that way till around Christmas. Two. I'm happy if it's not a foot deep by Halloween. Count your blessings this year.
Idiot snow drivers exist all across Canada. The first snowfall brings out the people who are far too timid in snow and cause the opposite type to try to swerve around.
heh... proud mum, i say they drive very similar to the blue haired ladies. (and dark haired transplants- because... honestly... the change in traffic rules kind of threw me for a loop too. snicker)
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