Halloween 2005

Halloween.

Any place, anywhere that I go all the
People seem to stop and stare they say

’why are you dressed like it’s halloween?
You look so absurd, you look so obscene’

So the kids are all in their costumes looking cute, or great, or creepy, or whatever they wanted to portray to the outside world. So, this year Ben was Darth Vader again for the third year running. This year he had a full helmet and mask complete with sound effects and voice modulation (which made him sound more like Marvin than Darth Vader).

O, why can’t I live a life for me?
Why should I take the abuse that’s served?
Why can’t they see they’re just like me it’s
The same, it’s the same in the whole wide world

Well I let their teeny minds think that they’re
Dealing with someone who is over the brink

So, I usually go out with Ben and walk along the sidewalk while he goes from door to door. However when his friends showed up this year and he went off with them, I thought that the time had finally come when he wouldn’t go out with me any more.

I was so wrong.

They went up one side of our court and then looped back down the other. As they passed by our house again, Ben asked if I would be coming along. You see, I usually carry a garbage bag so that Ben can empty his bag periodically and not have to carry a heavy load. Ben just could not part with that service.

So, when I caught up with them, Ben needed to adjust his costume so I got to hold the bag, and then the next thing I knew I had is friend’s bag as well. Before any ideas of a bag-free Halloween entered their minds, I made sure they had the bags back (although I did get stuck with a broken plastic skeleton hand that Ben’s friend could no longer use).

Here’s some snapshots of the next 90 minutes on the Halloween trail:

“My toes hurt” – Every 5-10 minutes from Ben (he was wearing a pair of Karen’s leather boots)

“My hand is cramping” – Apparently holding a bag of candy in one hand and a lightsaber in the other will do that.

“I’ll be a dark Jedi for a while” – AKA “My mask is way too warm and I need my head to cool off. You won’t mind carrying this mask, helmet and the voice box with batteries attached to it with your free hand.”

“I didn’t know the lenses would fog up like this” – This struck me as an interesting comment. Imagine Darth Vader getting used to his mask and having a fogging problem. That led me to think of what Darth Vader’s journal (or even blog) might look like. Maybe I’ll try writing that blog someday…

“The lightsaber my friend has is actually part of my costume but I just found it too cumbersome carrying it and the bag. Besides, I can be Darth Vader without a lightsaber” – The explanation to several homeowners once Ben let his friend use the lightsaber.

“Can you empty the bag now” – It was time for me to increase my load.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved going around with Ben and spending the time with him and his friends this year. I just find all the complaining amusing to be coming from those who also say they are having lots of fun.

When we finally got home, exhausted (at least Dad was), we were in for the final treat of the night. For some reason that is lost to the depths of time, when Ben was in first grade his teacher suggested that he sort, count, and graph his Halloween haul. Now it has become an obsession. So tonight before he went to bed, Ben sorted and tabulated all of his candy. I told him it was too late to actually graph it.

Now, Ben has another 12 – 18 months of candy (we usually have to throw the previous year’s candy out just before Halloween) we can rest up and get ready for next year.

Lyrics from “Everyday is Halloween” by Ministry

Interview Fatigue

Well, I’ve made it through a good part of my interviews. In total I’ve had six interviews for the non-management position. I’ve also had two for the management position. The sheer number of interviews compressed into a less-than-two-week time frame has been very stressful and tiring. But then again, that could be part of the test.

Miraculously, I’ve managed to also keep up with my busy workload so I haven’t been slacking at my current job while shuttling back and forth to my various interviews. It also helps that I work out of my home office for three or four days a week.

So, with the planned interviews for one position done, I just have to wait now to hear if I will get an offer. I’m sure I’ll get more interviews for the management position, it’s just that the recruiter lives somewhere near Miami and apparently has no phone, power, or Internet connection right now.

I’ve also been contacted by another potential employer. It is the new company which grew out of the sale of my old employer. I am going to see them tomorrow. They felt that they didn’t need to interview me, and wanted to make me an offer over the phone. I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I mean, many of the people are still the same, but the management structure has changed (hopefully for the better). A lot of the people in senior management from the old company are gone, and it was these people and their management style which made me decide to leave in the first place.

So, I asked the hiring manager to set up an interview with the new general manager. I want to interview them and get a better feeling about where this new company is going and what their plans are. I really don’t want to be looking for a job again for at least a few years (yes Karen, I know you’ve heard that one before).

When someone in a household is looking for a new job it’s stressful on everyone. I am grateful to Karen for putting up with me during this time because I have had to adjust my schedule quite a bit to keep up with everything. Hopefully this will all be over and done with soon, and we can go on with our lives.

UnBEARable

You Are A: Bear Cub!

Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're tough, you have a bit of a temper -- classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Duck or a Kitten
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a SquirrelWhat Cute Animal Are You?

I'm Sooooo Stressed!!!

I realized I haven’t posted since last Thursday and a lot has happened since then.

First of all, thanks Proud Mum and ABQ for your words of support and encouragement.

Yes, I had my interviews on Friday and I know they went well. I was one of eight people interviewed from 400 applications. Today I got a call to book interviews with four more people for this position (next one is tomorrow) so I was one of the three who made the short list. This company is very particular about whom they hire and candidates have a minimum of five interviews.

It’s funny, but the position I’m interviewing for is not the position I applied to. Let’s call that one A. I am interviewing with a manager in another group for a slightly different position (call it B). It seems one of this manager’s people was interested in moving to position A, so now the manager is looking to hire. The funny thing is that I am even better suited to B than A. I know a lot of the customers I would be dealing with and I am extremely familiar with the industry the position would be focused on.

The position I’ve interviewed for is a non-management position. When I applied, there was also a management position open so I thought “what the heck” and applied for that as well. The management position looked interesting -- and right up my alley, since I have been a front-line manager before. (Not with my current company, though, which is one of the reasons I’m leaving.) I didn’t expect any response on that one, though, since management positions are usually filled from within.

Well, I have my first interview for the management position tomorrow. In fact, I already have three interviews scheduled for that job.

It is getting very confusing working with two different HR people trying to schedule a series of interviews over a short time period, while I am also very busy with my current job. Today I was feeling very stressed out.

I know that everything will work out in the end, but it’s getting very stressful trying to schedule everything and maintain a certain amount of secrecy. Only my closest friend at my current job knows, and he is helping cover for me.

I know that when I get to my interviews tomorrow I will go into my automatic “sales” mode and have a nice conversation with both of them. It’s just the anticipation.

Something about me

I’ve given in and joined the “meme” craze. Here’s one I hadn’t seen before. The comments in parentheses are not part of the official list but explanations I wanted to add.

Bold all those that you ever were guilty of doing. When you are done, add one thing that is true about yourself to the end, and then post the list to your journal or blog.

I’ve run away from home.
I listen to political music.
I collect comic books.
I shut others out when I’m sad.
I open up to others easily.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an ipod.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I love Disney movies.
I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
I don’t kill bugs.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a real conversation.
I love Spam.
I bake well.
I would wear pajamas to school/work. And I probably have too.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I have a job.
I love Martha Stewart.
I am in love with someone.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I am self conscious.
I like to laugh.
I smoke a pack a day.
I loved Go Ask Alice.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can’t swallow pills.
I have many scars.
I’ve been out of this country.
I believe in ghosts.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I am comfortable with being me.
I play computer games/video games when I’m bored.
Gotten lost in the city.
Saw a shooting star
I have had 2 serious surgical procedures.
I have kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Been in a fist fight with the same sex.
Been arrested.
Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
Made out in an elevator.
Sworn at my parents.
Kicked a guy where it hurts.
Been skydiving.
Been bungee jumping.
Broken a bone.
Played spin the bottle.
Gotten stitches.
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
Bitten someone.
Been to Niagara Falls. (It’s only an hour or so away)
Gotten the chicken pox.
Crashed into a car.
Been to Asia.
Ridden in a taxi.
Shoplifted.
Been fired.
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
Stole something from my job.
Gone on a blind date.
Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Been to Europe.
Slept with a co-worker. (Karen and I once worked at the same company)
Been married.
Gotten divorced.
Saw someone dying.
Driven over 400 miles in one day. (Cambridge to Orlando – 22 Hrs)
Been to Canada. (Every day)
Been on a plane.
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Live in London)
Thrown up in a bar.
Eaten Sushi.
Been snowboarding.
Been skiing.
Been ice skating.
Met someone in person from the internet.
Been to a car show.
Gone to college.
Done hard drugs.
Taken painkillers.
Met a celebrity. (Does a Prime Minister Count?)
I like playing practical jokes.
Once swore Disco would never die.
Seen a ghost.
Attended a professional sporting event.
Attended a live rock concert.
Stayed up all night.
Lied about my name.
Dressed up like a Star Wars character
Been part of a police lineup    

It's Time to Move On

Have you ever had a job where you just know it’s wrong for you? That no matter what you could try to do to change it, you’ve already gone as far as you ever will there? Well, that is the situation I am in.

I started at my current company less than a year ago. When I interviewed with them I knew the job was mostly a “lateral” move, but they assured me that the job would grow and I would get more responsibility. Within a few months, I realized that I had come into the company at the level I would leave it – whether I stayed one year or five.

I’ve tried to find ways to make it work, but I’ve realized for a while that it’s all in vain. I need to see how far I can go; I’m not the type to coast along and do the same job for several years. I need to be challenged, and to know that there is something to strive for and achieve – in other words a career path.

Tomorrow, I have an interview with another company. This is a large manufacturer and developer of products for the field I’m in. I’ve wanted to work there for a long time. I’m not really nervous; I’m used to sales calls, and an interview is just a different type of sale. I’m selling “myself.”

I applied to them a few weeks ago. I have the good fortune that I know people who work there that can get inside information for me and also talk to the hiring managers. Yesterday evening when I got a call to see if I was available on Friday for an interview, there was no hesitation.

It turns out that the people I’m meeting with tomorrow are people I previously worked with on various customer deals over the past few years. Still, part of me says that I should not take anything for granted, and it’s those little nagging self doubts that make me nervous. But then again, I have all those same feeling before any big presentation or customer meeting.

I don’t know why I am writing this all down. However it is making me feel a bit more relaxed about my interview tomorrow.

Traffic Tie-ups

I had a meeting in Toronto this afternoon so I had to drive the worst highway to drive at any time during a normal work day – the 401 across Toronto. It’s not that the road itself is bad – in fact, I did notice how the endless summers of construction have actually improved the roadway – it’s just that driving the busiest section of highway in North America can cause apprehension in even the most seasoned driver.

My meeting finished early (before 3:00pm) and I thought I would be able to make it on the 401 and out of Toronto before rush hour. Almost as soon as I got on the highway, I learned that there were two separate accidents and one was in the express lanes and the other was in the collector lanes. So I sat and crept along at 15-20 km/hr in the right lane (the left was supposedly blocked by the accident).

Now this can be normal for any highway. However it is the reaction of the drivers to the sheer volume of traffic that gives the 401 its particular charm. As we came up to an on ramp, several cars started changing into the on ramp from my lane behind me and accelerated to get those 20 or so car lengths ahead before they had to slow traffic again to merge back into the flow. Most of these people were also on their cell phones (another pet peeve of mine – get a hands free set).

Well the trucker directly in front of me had seen enough. He pulled his rig into the merging lane and kept it there going at the same pace as the rest of traffic. I stayed on his back bumper to leave his space available. So what did these people do? Well about a third of them got the hint and just merged back in. And the rest? Well they used the shoulder.

So what is my point here? It’s really nothing more than venting. If people want to act like idiots on the road, there’s not much I can do about it.

(Hey, that gives me an idea for another pet peeve list, but that will have to wait for another time.)

Thanksgiving

Yes, today is Canadian Thanksgiving day. I thought I would take a cue from proud mum and list the 10 Canadian things for which I am thankful (in no particular order):

1. Public health care


2. Tight gun ownership laws


3. “Peace, order and good government”


4. Great chocolate


5. Four Seasons


6. Canadian English


7. True separation of church and state


8. Multiculturalism


9. Tim Horton’s


10. My Family

Another Pet Peeve

OK. So we went to the Rockton Fair today. I know – I should have gotten money from an ATM before we went to the fair. However that does not excuse the lack of line etiquette displayed by several of the people I was waiting in line with for the single ATM at the fair. This leads to another pet peeve list:

1. Families do not all have to be in line together. One person will use the bank machine, so only one person really needs to be in line and not 5. The offshoot of this is that the line appears shorter.


2. Only one person in any family uses the bank machine. It may be cute when your kids want to press the buttons, but not when you are holding up the 30 people behind you.


3. If you choose to get a receipt printed, you can read it anywhere. You do not need to read it in front of the ATM. There is nothing the ATM will do for you anymore. Your transaction is over and other people are waiting.


4. Get your card out and ready. If you have been waiting in line for 10-15 minutes, the moment you actually get to the front of the line to use the machine is not the moment to start searching for your card in your purse, wallet or backpack. You had plenty of time to do that in line.


5. If your card does not swipe properly the first time, by all means try again. If it does not swipe properly the fifth time, do not stand there and keep trying. Reading the screen some more will not help, nor will turning around and announcing to the line that the machine appears to be malfunctioning. Just step aside and let the next person swipe their card.


6. Know how much you are getting and where you are getting it from. Do not wait until you are at the front of the line to discuss with your spouse/companion/boyfriend/girlfriend/parent how much you should get and from which account. You had plenty of time to do that before everyone was focused on you and now know how much money you are carrying.

The fair was quite fun once I managed to make it through the line.

Karate Calamity

A strange thing happened today. Tonight is one of the nights I usually take Ben to his karate class. He’s been taking these classes for about 18 months now and just loves it. Karen and I were very happy to find this particular school with this particular sensei.

You see, Ben is not one for extracurricular activities. He’s not very sports-oriented and really hates any type of team sport because he lacks the coordination and gets frustrated very easily. We were happy when he agreed to try karate since we explained to him that he could learn at his own pace and he wasn’t really competing with anyone.

So Karen phoned around to different schools and found this one. What drew Karen to this particular school was her chat with the sensei. His approach was different from other schools. First of all, his curriculum for children is designed for children, not adapted from an adult curriculum. He also takes the approach of rewarding good behaviour instead of punishing bad behaviour – he feels that kids want attention and if he gives the attention to the kids who exhibit good behaviour, then the kids who don’t will change the way they act to get the attention too (it works).

The other thing that makes him a really good teacher is he gets to know each and every one of the kids and adapts his style to teach the kids in the way that reaches them the best. In Ben’s case, it is through using humour. If Ben is frustrated or overwhelmed by a task, no amount of commiserating, cajoling, or any other type of empathetic, coercive, or forceful response will motivate him. No, the way around Ben’s mental blocks is humour. Joke about the situation, mock it – or even him – in a fun way, just find any way to add humour to the situation and Ben will respond. This sensei grasped that right from the start and it’s one of the reasons Ben has done so well.

Back to the present – I took Ben to his class tonight and the dojo was locked. I wasn’t too concerned as this happens sometimes due to illness or other unforeseen circumstances. As we were heading back to the car, Ben’s sensei drove up. He told me he had something for me and asked me to follow him to the dojo. He did not seem well. He wasn’t his usual self.

When we got into the dojo, the place looked like it had been cleaned out. My heart sank. He handed me a letter which started off by saying that his accountant had made mistakes in his books and that the accountant, the karate business, and even his personal assets were being audited by the government. Because of this, he could not make the rent on his dojo and the school is shut for the time being.

Now I knew why he looked miserable. This is a person with high ethical values and integrity who teaches this to his students. He must be devastated to find that the government has found irregularities with his books.

I stayed and talked with him for a while. He is determined to get the school up and running again. He told me that he could either go on or quit and he feels that if he quits it will be going against everything that he has taught his students over the years.

He’s hoping to have a temporary facility lined up within a few weeks and start teaching again, albeit with a scaled-down schedule. Whenever he starts again, Ben will be there.

He told me that he feels that every challenge in life is a lesson that must be learned. Unless you learn that lesson, the challenges will continue to repeat themselves until you learn it. He’s had an up and down ride this year. He outgrew his original dojo at the beginning of the year. He negotiated with his landlord to move to the next unit over since it was about three times the size. Then, just as he moved in, he found out that the landlord leased his old unit to an adult video store. Well, he wasn’t going to have kids running back and forth in the evenings between the parking lot and that type of store, so he moved again only a month after taking the new unit.

I really hope things work out. He is a good person and he really does care for each of the kids he teaches.