Dear Santa,
I can explain.
Really, I can.
You see, it’s not all my fault. Ben is naturally inclined to play with words. It’s just normal that he would pick up on my sarcasm and my tendencies to play with the English language. He’s bright. He knows that some words have multiple meanings and beg to be used in humorous ways.
I know when he was three I started playing around with the meanings of words to tease him. I know I consciously taught him to look at words from every angle to get creative. I know my conversations with him at this impressionable age set him down this path.
It’s not all my fault, though.
It’s not my fault that he plays with the language all the time. I know that his sensei told me what he did last karate class. They are learning the use of the bo staff this term in karate. Last class the sensei asked everyone with a bo to gather in one corner. It’s not my fault that Ben had to say, “OK everyone! Let’s all gather over here for the staff meeting.”
That wasn’t my fault.
I’m getting it back now you know. Today on the way to karate I told Ben I am probably going to buy a new car next week – a Subaru Impreza. I told him the best thing about it is the all wheel drive.
His response was, “I am totally awed by that statement”.
I had to think for a second and then groaned as it came to me, “Do you mean awed as in AWD – All Wheel Drive?”
Giggles from the back.
You see, I’m getting payback every day now. Please, show a little sympathy.
I didn’t know he would be a smartass at age 10.
I DON”T WANT A LUMP OF COAL!!!
Really, I can.
You see, it’s not all my fault. Ben is naturally inclined to play with words. It’s just normal that he would pick up on my sarcasm and my tendencies to play with the English language. He’s bright. He knows that some words have multiple meanings and beg to be used in humorous ways.
I know when he was three I started playing around with the meanings of words to tease him. I know I consciously taught him to look at words from every angle to get creative. I know my conversations with him at this impressionable age set him down this path.
It’s not all my fault, though.
It’s not my fault that he plays with the language all the time. I know that his sensei told me what he did last karate class. They are learning the use of the bo staff this term in karate. Last class the sensei asked everyone with a bo to gather in one corner. It’s not my fault that Ben had to say, “OK everyone! Let’s all gather over here for the staff meeting.”
That wasn’t my fault.
I’m getting it back now you know. Today on the way to karate I told Ben I am probably going to buy a new car next week – a Subaru Impreza. I told him the best thing about it is the all wheel drive.
His response was, “I am totally awed by that statement”.
I had to think for a second and then groaned as it came to me, “Do you mean awed as in AWD – All Wheel Drive?”
Giggles from the back.
You see, I’m getting payback every day now. Please, show a little sympathy.
I didn’t know he would be a smartass at age 10.
I DON”T WANT A LUMP OF COAL!!!
posted by Mike at 7:44 p.m.
11 Comments:
oh man, you are sooo screwed! you didn't suck up or anything.
ben, on the other hand, will probably confuse you with wordplay and steal your bounty this christmas. heh
What is it they say? "Children learn what they live."
:)
Merry Christmas, Mike.
Dear Mike,
You think you've got problems? I'm still trying to figure out what he meant when he asked for whirled peas.
No fears, my boy! You won't get a lump of coal. You'll get two.
Merry Christmas! HO HO HO!
<3,
Santa
I don't think that you have to worry about a lump of coal... you've been pun-ished enough already (despite what Santa says).
Oh man, I'm so sorry. But, technically, it IS your fault! Hee hee hee. What a funny kid! You guys are never bored, are you?
Merry Christmas!!
You've raised a very funny kid!
Dear Mike,
Remember when you asked for a smart son?
You're welcome.
Now deal.
HoHoHo
happy new year, guy. hope you and the family have a fantastic year!
Happy New Year!
Did you get coal?
I think the reason I like hearing all these things that Ben says is that it reminds me of Xanth. The place is full of puns. They just make your groan, and then giggle. Kinda like Ben. If you're interested in exposing yourself or Ben to MORE puns go pick up a Xanth book by Piers Anthony. Book #1 "A Spell for Chameleon".
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