Welcome to My Reality

The Happy Happy Birthday Song

2006-03-06T20:17:00.000-05:00

I found out on the weekend that Ben’s class has its own birthday song which they sing to any classmates who have birthdays during the school year. I guess someone last year must like the Canadian Group “Arrogant Worms” since a quick search on Google turned up the lyrics. I found out about this song because Ben sang it at a friend’s birthday party last week and they wanted to know the lyrics. So I volunteered to type it out while he sang it from memory.

I thought I would share it here. Be prepared, this is in no way a sentimental tune. It seems like Ben’s class is full of 10 to 12 year old cynics. If you are at all sensitive about birthdays, I suggest you stop now. I haven’t been able to find the tune online so I can listen to the original music. The way Ben sings it sounds like a derivative of “Can-Can”.

Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates
The fact that you were able to make
A trip around the sun

Then the whole family gathers ‘round
And gifts and laughter do abound
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song

Happy Birthday!
Now you’re one year older

Happy Birthday!
Your life still isn’t over

Happy Birthday!
You haven’t accomplished much
But you didn’t die this year
I guess that’s good enough.

So let’s drink to your fading health
And hope you don’t remind yourself
Your chance of finding fame and wealth
Decrease with every year.

Do you feel like you’re doing laps
And eating food and taking naps
And hoping that someday perhaps
Your life will hold some cheer?

Happy Birthday!
What have you done that matters?

Happy Birthday!
You’re starting to get fatter.

Happy Birthday!
It’s downhill from now on.
Try not to remind yourself
Your best years are all gone.

If cryogenics was all free
Then we could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice.

But instead your time is set
This is the only life you get
Although it hasn’t ended yet
Sometimes you wish it might.

Happy Birthday!
You wish you had more money

Happy Birthday!
Your life’s so sad it’s funny.

Happy Birthday!
How much more can you take?
All your friends are hungry now
So cut the stupid cake.

Rrroll up the rim to win!

2006-03-01T23:05:00.000-05:00

The end of February marks the beginning of an annual Canadian tradition that helps lift us out of the winter blahs – it’s “Roll up the Rim” time at Tim Horton’s. To an outsider, this may seem a bit strange that a Coffee and Donut chain’s contest would be a national tradition, but to most Canadians and those who have experienced the phenomenon or Tim Horton’s it’s a natural experience.

Tim Horton’s has the success that large food and beverage chains around the world all aspire to. They are everywhere. In Canada there is one Tim Horton’s for about every 12,500 people (about 2,500 locations). It is often compared to Starbucks, and a number of other successful US chains. However if all of the Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds locations in the US operated under the same name, that corporate entity would still not have the same 1:12,500 ratio that Tim Horton’s has.

In the city I live in of about 130,000 people, there are 12 locations that I know of. Any trip across town (no matter which route) will take us past at least two and usually five. And all of them are always busy. Some have line ups at the drive through from about 6:00am to 6:00pm.

Last week the chief of staff for our armed forces gave a news conference. In this news conference he gave a list of many of the things the armed forces need from our new government. When talking about immediate priorities, he talked about the Canadian mission to Afghanistan where 2000 of our troops are taking command of the Kandahar region. One of his top priorities for the troops there was to talk to Tim Horton’s and see if they could open up a shop on the base in Kandahar.

In my opinion the success of Tim Horton’s is that it offers a great tasting cup of coffee (not watered down and not strong and bitter) for a very reasonable price and the food is also very good and reasonably priced as well. The coffee is coffee (not 50 different beans and flavours) it’s always fresh and brewed to perfection. They even make a pretty decent cup of tea with their steeped tea that is prepared by the pot.

Tim Horton’s has even added new terms to the English language (well, Canadian English eh). These include “double-double” (two cream and two sugar) and a “regular” coffee (cream and sugar). I found out the hard way that in the US, regular is a size and not the way you prepare the coffee. I ordered a “medium regular” once at a coffee shop in the US. The person just stared at me and said, “Sir, the medium size is the regular size.”

Perhaps one day we will speak the same language…

Change Is Good

2006-01-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

Change is good – well at least sometimes. We have a new government in Canada and a new Prime Minister-elect. Thirteen years of government under the Liberal party has ended and they can now take a breath and rebuild. When a party is in power for too long, they get stale, and they get too greedy. I’m looking forward to seeing how the Conservatives can govern in a minority parliament and how the other parties will reach compromises with the Conservatives to give us another two years before we go to the polls again.

In reading Karen’s blog posting on this, I noticed that she had a few comments asking about minority governments, election calls, and trying to find similarities with the US political system. The US media actually wrote quite a bit about it for a Canadian election but they too just used the words and didn’t quite explain it. The comment spaces are too small to go into it in any detail, but I’ll try to explain some of it here.

Let’s start at the top:

Canada’s official head of state is the Governor-General. This position is largely ceremonial; however the GG must sign all bills into law that have passed through Parliament and the Senate. The GG is also the only person able to dissolve parliament and formally call an election (also known as dropping the writ). The GG usually does this at the request of the Prime Minister but has the power to dissolve Parliament and call elections if he or she feels it is in the best interest of the country. The GG is appointed by the Prime Minister and stays for a term of 5 years.

The Senate is an appointed house (however many people want it reformed to be an elected house) and once you are appointed, it is a lifetime term. Once again, the sitting Prime Minister appoints senators when seats become available. The Senate is known as the house of “sober second thought” and must debate and vote on all bills passed by parliament. Only bills that pass the Senate are sent to the GG for assent.

The House of Parliament is where the real action takes place. There are 308 members of Parliament, each representing their constituency or riding (similar to congressional districts). Riding boundaries are decided usually by geography (in the case of the far north) or population (in other areas). The number of ridings and their boundaries are adjusted every few years to keep up with population changes.

The party that wins the most seats is asked to form the government. The leader of that party is then sworn in as Prime Minister. So, in Canada, the Prime Minister is only directly elected by the people in his/her riding, not the entire country. The part with the second-highest number of seats is called the loyal opposition and is required to question the government and hold them to account.

If the winning party has more than half the seats in parliament, they form a majority government. A majority government can implement its policies fairly easily since they can make sure they win every vote.

However, we have a multi-party system. So, sometimes the winning party has the most seats, but not more than half. That is a minority government. A government with a minority must negotiate with the other parties to gain enough support to pass their legislation. This is the type of government Canadians elected in 2004 and now again in 2006 (albeit with different parties winning).

Elections must be called every 5 years. However it is the discretion of the Prime Minister to call and election when he/she sees fit. The only other time is if the governing party loses a “vote of confidence” which could be the defeat of a major government bill like the budget, or the opposition parties force a vote specifically calling for the government to resign and they win that vote (the only time this has ever occurred was in November, 2005). There has been talk of electoral reform where there would be fixed election dates every four years (with the exception of elections forced due to non-confidence votes) so that the Prime Minister would no longer be able to time the election for when they wanted it.

Minority governments in Canada have only averaged a 15-18 month life span. All sides have to keep up appearances of trying to make it work, but the governing party may force the opposition parties to defeat it (if they feel they can get a majority) or the opposition parties will bring down a government if they feel the time is ripe for them. I personally thing we are going to get two years out of this government because the Liberals have to choose a new leader (Paul Martin, the outgoing PM announced he was resigning as leader of the Liberal Party) and they will need the time to get that new leader and get him/her introduced to the public.

Changing Cars

2006-01-10T18:56:00.000-05:00

Every time we say goodbye
I die a little
Every time we say goodbye
I wonder why a little

Every Time We Say Goodbye – Cole Porter

OK, ok so maybe a Cole Porter song is a little too sappy when referring to a car. But you see, I sold my car this week – my 1997 Subaru Legacy sedan which I have had since 2000 and driven over 200,000km (125,000 miles). The most reliable car I’ve ever owned. A car that I truly enjoyed driving for the 5 years I had it. True, it was – no, is – 9 years old. It also has 290,000km (181,250 mi) on the odometer. It’s also in really good condition. It required almost nothing to get its safety certificate. The emissions tests barely registered any of the harmful substances they test for. The body is in great shape and the engine still runs really smooth (you gotta love the Subaru flat boxer engine) and the AWD (all wheel drive) meant I never got stuck in any weather. My new boss was even trying to get me to replace the engine and transmission with that from a Subaru Impreza WRX STi. Did I mention he races Subarus?

So why did I sell it? Well, like all things as they get older, they have to slow down. I know I had great success with this car, but they don’t last forever and I drive way too much to have to rely on a 9 year old car. It was time to say goodbye while I still could get something for it. Besides, Karen can’t drive standard and we wanted an automatic so we could each drive either car.

Now it’s gone. The person I who bought it took possession last night and was already thrilled with it as he drove away. It only took 3 days to sell and the buyer fell in love with it when he drove it. He races as well, and – while he did not buy it for racing – it may indeed someday get its turbocharged makeover.

So, I bought a new car.

The machine of a dream, such a clean machine,
With the pistons a pumpin', and the hubcaps all gleam.
When I'm holding your wheel,
All I hear is your gear,
…
I'm in love with my car, gotta feel for my automobile,
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar,
Such a thrill when your radials squeal.
…
When I'm holding your wheel,
All I hear is your gear,
When I'm cruisin' in overdrive,
Don't have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive,

I’m In Love With My Car – Queen

I bought a brand new 2006 Subaru Impreza. This car is a joy to drive (even if it is an automatic). With its 2.5L 175HP 4 cylinder boxer engine and AWD this car has a lot of responsiveness (although not like the 300HP STi or the 400HP my boss gets from his custom-tuned 2.5L engine). It’s enough for me. It’s also the car that I’m going to drive for the next 5 to 7 years.

I looked at a number of other cars before I settled on the Impreza. Front wheel-drive cars just don’t cut it for me anymore – I’m not used to my wheels slipping and feeling the front-end “float” in snowy or wet weather. I also looked at other AWD vehicles, but I noticed how much louder they were and they didn’t handle the same way. I have to say I’m pretty much a Subaru driver now. WOOT!

Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live
In cars

Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days
In cars

Cars – Gary Numan

Dear Santa,

2005-12-23T19:44:00.000-05:00

I can explain.

Really, I can.

You see, it’s not all my fault. Ben is naturally inclined to play with words. It’s just normal that he would pick up on my sarcasm and my tendencies to play with the English language. He’s bright. He knows that some words have multiple meanings and beg to be used in humorous ways.

I know when he was three I started playing around with the meanings of words to tease him. I know I consciously taught him to look at words from every angle to get creative. I know my conversations with him at this impressionable age set him down this path.

It’s not all my fault, though.

It’s not my fault that he plays with the language all the time. I know that his sensei told me what he did last karate class. They are learning the use of the bo staff this term in karate. Last class the sensei asked everyone with a bo to gather in one corner. It’s not my fault that Ben had to say, “OK everyone! Let’s all gather over here for the staff meeting.”

That wasn’t my fault.

I’m getting it back now you know. Today on the way to karate I told Ben I am probably going to buy a new car next week – a Subaru Impreza. I told him the best thing about it is the all wheel drive.

His response was, “I am totally awed by that statement”.

I had to think for a second and then groaned as it came to me, “Do you mean awed as in AWD – All Wheel Drive?”

Giggles from the back.

You see, I’m getting payback every day now. Please, show a little sympathy.

I didn’t know he would be a smartass at age 10.

I DON”T WANT A LUMP OF COAL!!!

Arizona in December

2005-12-18T15:36:00.000-05:00

I had just started a new job back in 1998. It was during the great tech boom and companies were awash with lots of money. So, my company decided on a new initiative – new employees from around North America would spend 4 days at a resort in Scottsdale, AZ for company orientation.

I’d never been to Arizona. I did know it was supposedly warmer than Southern Ontario, especially since we were going in the middle of December.

I found out the other Canadians who had been invited to this orientation and four of us decided that since our first day there was completely open, we would get in a round of golf.

That Sunday started off at around 70 degrees (F), with a few clouds in the sky. I wore a t-shirt and shorts. We set off for the golf course. The weather was perfect.

Around the third hole, it clouded over and the temperature started to drop.

At the fourth hole, it started to rain.

At the fifth hole, the temperature had dropped to a point where I was starting to feel cold. Other foursomes had left the course, but we Canadians decided we were made of stronger stuff and were going to play through.

At the sixth hole the wind picked up out of the north and I was thinking that shorts might not have been a good idea.

At the seventh hole, our hands started to get too cold to hold the clubs.

Finally, on the eighth hole, the unthinkable happened – it started to snow. Not just wimpy white-lumpy-rain type snow, big thick flakes that started to cover the ground.

We realized that the powers in charge did not want us to finish our game. In fact, we had upset the entire natural order of things by trying to play golf in Scottsdale, AZ in December. We quietly left the course.

Upon arriving at the clubhouse, people were running out in the snow and taking a lot of pictures of the snowscape.

This is how I remember my one and only trip to the hot, dry state of Arizona.

Happy Christmahanukkwanzaakah!!

2005-12-17T20:52:00.000-05:00

I was at work writing a proposal when my MSN Messenger agent beeped. It was a message from my manager. It said:

Call 1-888-353-7667

I turned around – he sits right behind me.

“Call the number.”

So I did. And I got the Virgin Mobile Christmahanukkwanzaakah help line and spent the next 10-15 minutes going through all the options and laughing and wondering about the twisted people who put this together.

What was refreshing was the irreverent poke at the political correctness of the season.

So, if you are so inclined, call the number. Have a laugh. Don’t worry, all of the options are recordings and there is no worry about getting a live operator.

Ignore this post

2005-12-13T21:47:00.000-05:00

WARNING!

Do not click this LINK! The HASSELHOFFIAN RECURSION is suspected to cause insanity, loss of appetite and even loss of last two to three meals. I repeat do not click on any LINKS in this post. Rumours abound of people drawn into the HASSELHOFFIAN RECURSION to the point that they forget how to close the window or avert their eyes.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

LEAVE THIS LINK ALONE!

Woot!

2005-12-13T06:10:00.000-05:00

Since Karen started posting some of our photos in her Museum of Me, I realized that there were pictures of ours that I would post given the chance. So I created a new blog called Picture Reality. I'll be posting some of my favourites there.

Happy Nondescript Holiday Greetings

2005-12-10T21:49:00.000-05:00

My wife Karen’s blog post today
Explains a “politically correct” seasonal
Rift that has affected even those who
Really have no religious inclinations.
Yet, we seem to be in an age where

Christians and those descended from them
Have a certain cultural guilt and oversensitivity
Rising from the awareness that the diversity
In our society is increasing.
Suddenly, this has resulted in
The very sad and
Misguided attempt to hide a certain name of
A certain occasion in December and replace it with “Holiday”.
Sadly, I too must utilize covert means to express myself.

Avon Calling (and calling, and calling...)

2005-12-05T21:04:00.000-05:00

I’m really enjoying my new job. It’s great to be back in a professional environment and working for a company that has a sense of where it is going and – more importantly – how to get there.

It’s also a change for me in terms of actually going in to work. I now work about 30 minutes* from home so I can go in every day. My last job was just over an hour from home (on a good day) so I only went in once or twice a week.

The benefit of going in every day is that you get to build more of a relationship with your coworkers. However, depending on your office surroundings, it can also be a bad thing.

Take, for example, where I sit. My desk is right beside our administrative assistant. She is a very nice person and is very good at her job. Also, being the admin assistant, she has a lot of people come and see her for things that they need.

She also sells Avon products.

(This is not a problem.)

At work.

(This too, is not a problem.)

I have to sit beside her desk.

(Still no problem.)

I get to hear all the wonderful Avon-related conversations.

(Problem.)

I learn things I really do not need to know….

I do not care about the benefits of Avon mascara. I do not care that it really adds volume to lashes. I also do not need to know that users of this product have to keep their eyes open of a specific length of time. Why? Well, apparently lashes get so long with this mascara that if you close your eyes before it dries the upper and lower lashes will stick together.

I do not need to know where people apply their skin cream because it gets so dry in the winter. (For those of you who live in dry climates like the desert states, dry in Southern Ontario is a humidity level of 40% or less. Keep in mind that it only gets that dry when temperatures are below -10 Celsius and the wind chill feels like -15 or lower).

I do not need to know how Avon product X is better than other manufacturer’s product Y. I really do not need to know what product Y did to you that one time you tried it.

I do not need to know that your aunt/grandmother/mother/mother-in-law, etc. has used Avon products since practically before they were ever even sold.

I do not need to know the reasons you are justifying a purchase for yourself when your really should be doing your Christmas shopping.

I JUST DO NOT NEED TO KNOW.

But now I do.

*P.S. For those of you who noticed, it is apparently a Canadian – and I understand an Idahoan – trait to measure distances by time. Actual distances for those who measure distance in something other than time are 55km and 103km.

Morning Groaner

2005-11-30T19:53:00.000-05:00

Ben came up to me this morning
       With a mischievous grin on his face
“Dad, can I show you something?”
      The twinkling eyes, the little grin
   He was planning something
         And I was walking right into it
     He showed me his pile of library books
          All thirteen of them
       All Hardy Boys books
         “You see this pile of books?”
“Yes” – still not sure why the grin is there
               “It’s thirteen stories tall.”
         Yep, he’s my son alright.

Let the Games Begin

2005-11-28T20:37:00.000-05:00

It’s official (almost) – Canadians will be off to the polls to elect a new Federal government. The current government was defeated in a vote of non-confidence today and the Governor General will be asked to dissolve parliament tomorrow. For the next 7 or 8 weeks we will be subjected to the rigors of a Federal election.

I’m happy the politicians finally got it over with. Canadians may grumble about having to go out and vote in the middle of January, but those who actually do take the time to exercise their democratic duty will go and vote despite the weather.

The thing really struck me while watching the coverage of the vote tonight is how simple our form of parliamentary democracy makes it to dissolve the government and call an election. The majority of the elected members of parliament voted that they had no confidence in the ruling party to continue to govern. Now it goes back to the people to decide who will go back in February and try again.

A simple vote, a simple outcome, now the people get to decide again.

Let the games begin.

Another Beginning

2005-11-28T20:17:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day in my new job.

Last week I kicked back, relaxed, and spent the week with Karen. It was heavenly and a good time to recharge my batteries.

Back to today. I left early in order to make it there in plenty of time – I’m kind of old fashioned that you should actually show up on time for your first day. Well, the fog had a different idea. Having 5-10 inches of snow on the ground from the weekend and then temperatures well above freezing today resulted in dense fog this morning. I was 30 minutes late. It was more of a problem in my mind than for anyone at my new employer.

They were all just happy to see me and to finally have me “back” on board. While I am working with a lot of the same people I had worked with for five years (I left last December), the new company is a lot different then the one I left.

In very good ways, It was like I had never left. I had no first day nervousness or “newbie” feelings. I knew this is where I want to be. I felt completely comfortable. More comfortable than I had EVER felt at the employer I just left. I was even busy all day with a couple of organizational meetings and two customer calls.

Now all I need is my computer and phone and I can really get to work.

My last Day at Work

2005-11-17T21:00:00.000-05:00

I quit
I’m done
Ooh ya-ah
Ooh ya-ah
Gettin’ outta hee-yah

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

2005-11-15T20:04:00.000-05:00

I had hoped that my employment saga would be over by now. By all rights it should be, but things seldom turn out as planned.

I have a new job which I have now formally accepted. As I write this, I am less than two weeks away from my start date. Everything is great on that front – I am very happy with the offer I accepted and the people there are eager to see me start.

It’s my current employer where things are not going quite how I had planned. I had a meeting booked to speak with the owner on Thursday afternoon. At that point, I had signed my new offer of employment. I was expecting the following things would happen:

I would meet with the owner. We would chat about the things that I had concerns about.

I would deliver the signed acceptance papers to my new employer on the way home.

I would arrive Friday morning and promptly resign.

I would be asked to leave and my notice paid since I am going to a direct competitor.

I would get a couple of weeks off work (during the paid notice) and start my new job.

I would have a clean break and leave this job behind.

Pretty simple, eh? But alas, the fickle finger of fate had something much different in mind. Here’s how it actually went:

I met with the owner Thursday. I had an hour booked with him. I got 15 minutes. He suggested booking something for late Friday afternoon to continue. Fearing a long day on Friday, I asked for an 8:00am meeting to get it over with quickly.

My co-worker, (a close friend who we will call X) called the owner and two of the managers (not our direct manager, mind you) and told them that he was afraid I would resign the following morning. He did this with my full knowledge, in part to offset any criticisms that he would have faced if I just went in and resigned.

I met with the owner on Friday. He told me about the call he received, and we chatted. I told him about the problems I had with my existing manager – the lies, the lack of leadership and, most importantly, the integrity issues. I kept my personal opinions to a minimum and concentrated on the facts and the resulting business issues. The owner appeared concerned with what I had told him.

At the end of the conversation I formally resigned. I told him that I was prepared to be walked out and I would understand. He told me to work it out with X, and that he knew I would not put myself in a conflict of interest. He also told me in no uncertain terms that I could come back at any time and a position would be there for me. So my dreams of two weeks off now disappeared.

I talked to X, he wanted me to work the two weeks because he really does not want to see me leave (separation anxiety). I told him I would stay until Thursday (new Harry Potter movie opens Friday and we are seeing it in IMAX).

The owner called my direct manager and told him I resigned. My manager was on vacation last week, and he lives in another province. When the owner found out he was on vacation in town, he told him to come in for a meeting on Saturday morning.

Our manager kept calling X every five minutes. When X actually answered the call, our manager lied to him. He told X that he had not heard anything – yet he knew that I had resigned and where I was going. He also told X that he had not heard from the owner – he knew that X had talked to the owner and then confessed that the owner had called him.

Our manager called X again on Friday evening. He said that we were trying to stage a coup and that he would get everyone back.

Now there is a lot of political maneuvering going on.

I want to get out of there. Thursday cannot come fast enough.

It’s amazing the way your perspective changes the minute you resign from a company. I’m still there only for X so I can transition the few things I had left.

One good thing that did happen today is that I bumped into the VP of sales. He expressed regret that I was leaving but he fully understood my position. He told me that he too had left several years ago because he was fed up and the resulting repercussions and changes after he left allowed him to come back to a better company and a better position. He told me that he would be more than happy to provide a reference at any time and that he would make sure a position was there if I ever wanted to come back.

At least I’m leaving on good terms. The bridges that matter are still intact. I haven't burned a single one.

Oh the weather outside is frightful (well, not yet)

2005-11-10T20:57:00.000-05:00

It’s mid-November and all across this vast country weather forecasts are starting to use that four-letter word that no one is ambivalent about – S N O W. Yes, that’s right we are heading towards another Canadian winter. Without fail this even seems to take people who have lived here all their lives by complete surprise.

What? Winter? Already? It can’t be! AHHHHHHHHH

Let me get this straight. All of us souls up here north of the 49th live in a country with four seasons (although never having lived above the tree line, I’m not sure exactly what the seasons look like in the Arctic – Proud Mum?). Winter seems to come every 12 months or so without fail and tends to hang around for at least 3-4 months (unless you live in Vancouver and once or twice a decade you have to go out and shovel in your Birkenstocks). Winter is something that Canada is known for, and we quite often export Arctic air flows south of the 49th to balance the hurricane remnants that come north.

I’ve lived in Southern Ontario all my life. For those of you unfamiliar with Southern Ontario, we have a really interesting climate. Surrounded by the Great Lakes, we have very moist air. A humidity level of 40% is very dry for us and in the summer the humidity levels can stay up above 90% for weeks on end. We can go from a maximum sustained temperature of 38 to a wonderful -30 in the winter (not counting Humidex or Wind Chill – Oh, that’s in Celsius). But I love the fact that we actually have four distinct seasons. It allows you to measure your life and you can always remember what time of year things happened.

Yet, it becomes a Canadian tradition to complain, go into denial and just try and forget what will soon come down and cover the ground in a clean white blanket ready for the rebirth of life the following spring (whoa – too sappy!).

So, after that long setup, here are the types of people that get on my nerves at this time of year. What is really funny (to me) is that many people actually fit into more than one of these categories.

The denial junkie – Snow already? But it’s only November! I hate snow. When is it going to be summer again? Blah blah blah. You live in a country with seasons. You live in a country known for snow. If you don’t like it, there are many countries and areas of the world that don’t get any of this fluffy white stuff. They may even actually be happy to see you.

The White Christmas Winter – I’m really annoyed when I hear “I only love snow when it is on the ground from December 22 – 27. After that it can go away.” Well, I’m very sure that if you did an exhaustive search of global meteorological data that you could find the 5 square meters of the earth’s surface that actually fit these criteria and move there. As for Canada – where you live – we just haven’t gotten to the point where we can dictate when and where we will get the white stuff.

What is this stuff on the highway? – When the first significant snowfall of the year comes (read – “actually stays on the ground”), I like to stay home. Why, because commuting into and out of Toronto is a nightmare on those days. There is a certain subset of drivers that forget we have winter and obviously never listen to the weather report. All they see is this “white lumpy rain” and continue to drive like it’s a bright sunny day in July. So traffic becomes a mess because of these people. It’s really funny though, most of the vehicles I see scattered off the road during a snowstorm are usually the “safe” SUVs. It makes you wonder.

Wanna-be Snowbirds – Now these people really get me. These are the people who say “I hate winter, I’m going to move to Florida”. Now, I have nothing against Florida, but why would your first choice for permanently escaping winter be an area that over the past few years has been a favourite target of hurricanes? Oh, I know, they’ll move back to Canada for hurricane season. Give me a break.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Monte Carlo Ain't The Right Car

2005-11-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

An ode to a rental car. My deepest apologies to the Smiths.

I was happy driving my old Subaru
But then I had to go rent a car

I was looking for a car, and then I found a car
And heaven knows that's not the right car!

In my life
I never thought that I'd be caught dead
In a Monte Carlo that's FIRE ENGINE RED!

When I got on the road in this automobile
I realized it wasn't for me

Why I'd ever rent this car, this really ugly car
The last car on the lot was Monte

So I'm stuck
With it for my five hour drive
In a red car that makes me quite sad

When I brought it home from the rental place
Karen started to laugh

"That car is really too red", she said
And I just shook my head

Why oh why
Did they not have
An auto that would much better suit my own style?

So I'm driving in this car down the 401
Showing the whole world my full Monte

"The moonroof completes the look", she said
And I just hung my head

And so I
Put up with this miserable car
Since my company is paying the bill.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

2005-11-07T20:54:00.000-05:00

I must be tired to quote Shakespeare in a blog title. I'm sitting here during the middle of a two day trip for my current company to visit some of the customers we have here. I'm the token expert and the sales people here are making sure they get me out in front of some of their customers. So I'm doing my job and selling my company and our skills at providing high-end technical solutions.

Here's where the title comes in - I also was on the phone tonight with the person who I will soon be reporting to at my new employer. He came back with a verbal offer and wanted to go over the points that will be in the offer letter. We have an agreement.

So tomorrow, I have to meet some more customers and go through the whole dog and pony show again because it is what I am currently paid to do. But in my mind, I will know that I am one step closer to leaving to go to a direct competitor. It's enough to make my brain hurt.

To complicate matters even further, another key person in my current company resigned last week. Now, all of a sudden, certain managers I work with are worried that I might leave. If they only knew the whole story. One even met with me last week to ask what was wrong. I told her - not that I have an offer and am about to leave - everything that concerned me about my current manager and the company.

She told the owner, of course. I had expected that. Now he may have time to talk to me on Thursday. Who knows, I may have actually signed my offer by then and it will be moot.

I just wish I had been the first person to leave, then I wouldn't have some of these complications. I'm not the type of person to burn bridges - the industry is too small and you keep meeting up with people so you never know what the future holds.

However I will have to battle with myself to not use one of my favourite sayings if someone asks why I'm resigning:

It's been real
It's been nice
But, quite honestly, it hasn't been real nice

In the Home Stretch

2005-11-02T20:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I’m in the home stretch with my job search (I hope). The company that was putting me through the marathon interviews finally made a decision. I was no longer being considered for the management position because they wanted me for the non-management one. After close to three weeks of stress and seemingly never-ending interviews, they informed me that I was their number one choice. We started talking seriously about compensation.

But wait, I did have my meeting last week with company number 2. I asked a lot of questions of the senior management team for this part of Canada. I needed to make sure that while a lot of the people are the same, the new company is actually a new company. To my surprise it is. None of the senior management from my former company are left. People are starting to come back. An office that was as quiet as a tomb for pretty much all of 2004 was alive with activity, noise and – dare I say – smiling faces. This was not the same company.

They have made me a verbal offer of employment for a position that was pretty much the one I held before the former company tanked. It was a job I enjoyed. They are offering me a technical management position with a national responsibility.

So on one hand I had Company A which I’ve wanted to be a part of for a long time has a lot of stability and ranked me as their number one choice. On the other hand is Company B which is full of people I worked with for 5 years who would like nothing better to have me back and want no one else for the position they are offering.

I chose Company B. I know I may never get a chance to work for Company A again, but I really won’t regret it. I’ve been offered a position that will allow me to use all of my skills rather than boosting a select subset of them. For the first time in months, I am looking forward to the future and I am relaxed – as soon as I had made my decision a lot of my stress left me and that further reinforced that I made the right choice for me.

I had to let the manager from company A know even though I don’t have company B’s offer on paper and signed. I know they need to move ahead quickly and I did not want to stretch it out for them. Besides, I know that I would never get everything I’m looking for in a job out of them. It took a moment for my decision to sink in. I don’t think many people turn down job offers from company A.

So, I’m cautiously optimistic. I don’t have an offer in writing, but that will come. Provided nothing changes drastically, I should be changing employers this month.

Halloween 2005

2005-10-31T22:07:00.000-05:00

Halloween.

Any place, anywhere that I go all the
People seem to stop and stare they say

’why are you dressed like it’s halloween?
You look so absurd, you look so obscene’

So the kids are all in their costumes looking cute, or great, or creepy, or whatever they wanted to portray to the outside world. So, this year Ben was Darth Vader again for the third year running. This year he had a full helmet and mask complete with sound effects and voice modulation (which made him sound more like Marvin than Darth Vader).

O, why can’t I live a life for me?
Why should I take the abuse that’s served?
Why can’t they see they’re just like me it’s
The same, it’s the same in the whole wide world

Well I let their teeny minds think that they’re
Dealing with someone who is over the brink

So, I usually go out with Ben and walk along the sidewalk while he goes from door to door. However when his friends showed up this year and he went off with them, I thought that the time had finally come when he wouldn’t go out with me any more.

I was so wrong.

They went up one side of our court and then looped back down the other. As they passed by our house again, Ben asked if I would be coming along. You see, I usually carry a garbage bag so that Ben can empty his bag periodically and not have to carry a heavy load. Ben just could not part with that service.

So, when I caught up with them, Ben needed to adjust his costume so I got to hold the bag, and then the next thing I knew I had is friend’s bag as well. Before any ideas of a bag-free Halloween entered their minds, I made sure they had the bags back (although I did get stuck with a broken plastic skeleton hand that Ben’s friend could no longer use).

Here’s some snapshots of the next 90 minutes on the Halloween trail:

“My toes hurt” – Every 5-10 minutes from Ben (he was wearing a pair of Karen’s leather boots)

“My hand is cramping” – Apparently holding a bag of candy in one hand and a lightsaber in the other will do that.

“I’ll be a dark Jedi for a while” – AKA “My mask is way too warm and I need my head to cool off. You won’t mind carrying this mask, helmet and the voice box with batteries attached to it with your free hand.”

“I didn’t know the lenses would fog up like this” – This struck me as an interesting comment. Imagine Darth Vader getting used to his mask and having a fogging problem. That led me to think of what Darth Vader’s journal (or even blog) might look like. Maybe I’ll try writing that blog someday…

“The lightsaber my friend has is actually part of my costume but I just found it too cumbersome carrying it and the bag. Besides, I can be Darth Vader without a lightsaber” – The explanation to several homeowners once Ben let his friend use the lightsaber.

“Can you empty the bag now” – It was time for me to increase my load.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved going around with Ben and spending the time with him and his friends this year. I just find all the complaining amusing to be coming from those who also say they are having lots of fun.

When we finally got home, exhausted (at least Dad was), we were in for the final treat of the night. For some reason that is lost to the depths of time, when Ben was in first grade his teacher suggested that he sort, count, and graph his Halloween haul. Now it has become an obsession. So tonight before he went to bed, Ben sorted and tabulated all of his candy. I told him it was too late to actually graph it.

Now, Ben has another 12 – 18 months of candy (we usually have to throw the previous year’s candy out just before Halloween) we can rest up and get ready for next year.

Lyrics from “Everyday is Halloween” by Ministry

Interview Fatigue

2005-10-27T22:37:00.000-04:00

Well, I’ve made it through a good part of my interviews. In total I’ve had six interviews for the non-management position. I’ve also had two for the management position. The sheer number of interviews compressed into a less-than-two-week time frame has been very stressful and tiring. But then again, that could be part of the test.

Miraculously, I’ve managed to also keep up with my busy workload so I haven’t been slacking at my current job while shuttling back and forth to my various interviews. It also helps that I work out of my home office for three or four days a week.

So, with the planned interviews for one position done, I just have to wait now to hear if I will get an offer. I’m sure I’ll get more interviews for the management position, it’s just that the recruiter lives somewhere near Miami and apparently has no phone, power, or Internet connection right now.

I’ve also been contacted by another potential employer. It is the new company which grew out of the sale of my old employer. I am going to see them tomorrow. They felt that they didn’t need to interview me, and wanted to make me an offer over the phone. I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I mean, many of the people are still the same, but the management structure has changed (hopefully for the better). A lot of the people in senior management from the old company are gone, and it was these people and their management style which made me decide to leave in the first place.

So, I asked the hiring manager to set up an interview with the new general manager. I want to interview them and get a better feeling about where this new company is going and what their plans are. I really don’t want to be looking for a job again for at least a few years (yes Karen, I know you’ve heard that one before).

When someone in a household is looking for a new job it’s stressful on everyone. I am grateful to Karen for putting up with me during this time because I have had to adjust my schedule quite a bit to keep up with everything. Hopefully this will all be over and done with soon, and we can go on with our lives.

UnBEARable

2005-10-19T21:21:00.000-04:00

You Are A: Bear Cub!

Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're tough, you have a bit of a temper -- classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Duck or a Kitten
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a Squirrel What Cute Animal Are You?

I'm Sooooo Stressed!!!

2005-10-18T20:58:00.000-04:00

I realized I haven’t posted since last Thursday and a lot has happened since then.

First of all, thanks Proud Mum and ABQ for your words of support and encouragement.

Yes, I had my interviews on Friday and I know they went well. I was one of eight people interviewed from 400 applications. Today I got a call to book interviews with four more people for this position (next one is tomorrow) so I was one of the three who made the short list. This company is very particular about whom they hire and candidates have a minimum of five interviews.

It’s funny, but the position I’m interviewing for is not the position I applied to. Let’s call that one A. I am interviewing with a manager in another group for a slightly different position (call it B). It seems one of this manager’s people was interested in moving to position A, so now the manager is looking to hire. The funny thing is that I am even better suited to B than A. I know a lot of the customers I would be dealing with and I am extremely familiar with the industry the position would be focused on.

The position I’ve interviewed for is a non-management position. When I applied, there was also a management position open so I thought “what the heck” and applied for that as well. The management position looked interesting -- and right up my alley, since I have been a front-line manager before. (Not with my current company, though, which is one of the reasons I’m leaving.) I didn’t expect any response on that one, though, since management positions are usually filled from within.

Well, I have my first interview for the management position tomorrow. In fact, I already have three interviews scheduled for that job.

It is getting very confusing working with two different HR people trying to schedule a series of interviews over a short time period, while I am also very busy with my current job. Today I was feeling very stressed out.

I know that everything will work out in the end, but it’s getting very stressful trying to schedule everything and maintain a certain amount of secrecy. Only my closest friend at my current job knows, and he is helping cover for me.

I know that when I get to my interviews tomorrow I will go into my automatic “sales” mode and have a nice conversation with both of them. It’s just the anticipation.

Something about me

2005-10-13T22:01:00.000-04:00

I’ve given in and joined the “meme” craze. Here’s one I hadn’t seen before. The comments in parentheses are not part of the official list but explanations I wanted to add.

Bold all those that you ever were guilty of doing. When you are done, add one thing that is true about yourself to the end, and then post the list to your journal or blog.

I’ve run away from home.
I listen to political music.
I collect comic books.
I shut others out when I’m sad.
I open up to others easily.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an ipod.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I love Disney movies.
I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
I don’t kill bugs.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a real conversation.
I love Spam.
I bake well.
I would wear pajamas to school/work. And I probably have too.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I have a job.
I love Martha Stewart.
I am in love with someone.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I am self conscious.
I like to laugh.
I smoke a pack a day.
I loved Go Ask Alice.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can’t swallow pills.
I have many scars.
I’ve been out of this country.
I believe in ghosts.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I am comfortable with being me.
I play computer games/video games when I’m bored.
Gotten lost in the city.
Saw a shooting star
I have had 2 serious surgical procedures.
I have kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Been in a fist fight with the same sex.
Been arrested.
Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
Made out in an elevator.
Sworn at my parents.
Kicked a guy where it hurts.
Been skydiving.
Been bungee jumping.
Broken a bone.
Played spin the bottle.
Gotten stitches.
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
Bitten someone.
Been to Niagara Falls. (It’s only an hour or so away)
Gotten the chicken pox.
Crashed into a car.
Been to Asia.
Ridden in a taxi.
Shoplifted.
Been fired.
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
Stole something from my job.
Gone on a blind date.
Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Been to Europe.
Slept with a co-worker. (Karen and I once worked at the same company)
Been married.
Gotten divorced.
Saw someone dying.
Driven over 400 miles in one day. (Cambridge to Orlando – 22 Hrs)
Been to Canada. (Every day)
Been on a plane.
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Live in London)
Thrown up in a bar.
Eaten Sushi.
Been snowboarding.
Been skiing.
Been ice skating.
Met someone in person from the internet.
Been to a car show.
Gone to college.
Done hard drugs.
Taken painkillers.
Met a celebrity. (Does a Prime Minister Count?)
I like playing practical jokes.
Once swore Disco would never die.
Seen a ghost.
Attended a professional sporting event.
Attended a live rock concert.
Stayed up all night.
Lied about my name.
Dressed up like a Star Wars character
Been part of a police lineup

It's Time to Move On

2005-10-13T21:34:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a job where you just know it’s wrong for you? That no matter what you could try to do to change it, you’ve already gone as far as you ever will there? Well, that is the situation I am in.

I started at my current company less than a year ago. When I interviewed with them I knew the job was mostly a “lateral” move, but they assured me that the job would grow and I would get more responsibility. Within a few months, I realized that I had come into the company at the level I would leave it – whether I stayed one year or five.

I’ve tried to find ways to make it work, but I’ve realized for a while that it’s all in vain. I need to see how far I can go; I’m not the type to coast along and do the same job for several years. I need to be challenged, and to know that there is something to strive for and achieve – in other words a career path.

Tomorrow, I have an interview with another company. This is a large manufacturer and developer of products for the field I’m in. I’ve wanted to work there for a long time. I’m not really nervous; I’m used to sales calls, and an interview is just a different type of sale. I’m selling “myself.”

I applied to them a few weeks ago. I have the good fortune that I know people who work there that can get inside information for me and also talk to the hiring managers. Yesterday evening when I got a call to see if I was available on Friday for an interview, there was no hesitation.

It turns out that the people I’m meeting with tomorrow are people I previously worked with on various customer deals over the past few years. Still, part of me says that I should not take anything for granted, and it’s those little nagging self doubts that make me nervous. But then again, I have all those same feeling before any big presentation or customer meeting.

I don’t know why I am writing this all down. However it is making me feel a bit more relaxed about my interview tomorrow.

Traffic Tie-ups

2005-10-11T22:51:00.000-04:00

I had a meeting in Toronto this afternoon so I had to drive the worst highway to drive at any time during a normal work day – the 401 across Toronto. It’s not that the road itself is bad – in fact, I did notice how the endless summers of construction have actually improved the roadway – it’s just that driving the busiest section of highway in North America can cause apprehension in even the most seasoned driver.

My meeting finished early (before 3:00pm) and I thought I would be able to make it on the 401 and out of Toronto before rush hour. Almost as soon as I got on the highway, I learned that there were two separate accidents and one was in the express lanes and the other was in the collector lanes. So I sat and crept along at 15-20 km/hr in the right lane (the left was supposedly blocked by the accident).

Now this can be normal for any highway. However it is the reaction of the drivers to the sheer volume of traffic that gives the 401 its particular charm. As we came up to an on ramp, several cars started changing into the on ramp from my lane behind me and accelerated to get those 20 or so car lengths ahead before they had to slow traffic again to merge back into the flow. Most of these people were also on their cell phones (another pet peeve of mine – get a hands free set).

Well the trucker directly in front of me had seen enough. He pulled his rig into the merging lane and kept it there going at the same pace as the rest of traffic. I stayed on his back bumper to leave his space available. So what did these people do? Well about a third of them got the hint and just merged back in. And the rest? Well they used the shoulder.

So what is my point here? It’s really nothing more than venting. If people want to act like idiots on the road, there’s not much I can do about it.

(Hey, that gives me an idea for another pet peeve list, but that will have to wait for another time.)

Thanksgiving

2005-10-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

Yes, today is Canadian Thanksgiving day. I thought I would take a cue from proud mum and list the 10 Canadian things for which I am thankful (in no particular order):

Public health care

Tight gun ownership laws

“Peace, order and good government”

Great chocolate

Four Seasons

Canadian English

True separation of church and state

Multiculturalism

Tim Horton’s

My Family

Another Pet Peeve

2005-10-08T22:48:00.000-04:00

OK. So we went to the Rockton Fair today. I know – I should have gotten money from an ATM before we went to the fair. However that does not excuse the lack of line etiquette displayed by several of the people I was waiting in line with for the single ATM at the fair. This leads to another pet peeve list:

Families do not all have to be in line together. One person will use the bank machine, so only one person really needs to be in line and not 5. The offshoot of this is that the line appears shorter.

Only one person in any family uses the bank machine. It may be cute when your kids want to press the buttons, but not when you are holding up the 30 people behind you.

If you choose to get a receipt printed, you can read it anywhere. You do not need to read it in front of the ATM. There is nothing the ATM will do for you anymore. Your transaction is over and other people are waiting.

Get your card out and ready. If you have been waiting in line for 10-15 minutes, the moment you actually get to the front of the line to use the machine is not the moment to start searching for your card in your purse, wallet or backpack. You had plenty of time to do that in line.

If your card does not swipe properly the first time, by all means try again. If it does not swipe properly the fifth time, do not stand there and keep trying. Reading the screen some more will not help, nor will turning around and announcing to the line that the machine appears to be malfunctioning. Just step aside and let the next person swipe their card.

Know how much you are getting and where you are getting it from. Do not wait until you are at the front of the line to discuss with your spouse/companion/boyfriend/girlfriend/parent how much you should get and from which account. You had plenty of time to do that before everyone was focused on you and now know how much money you are carrying.

The fair was quite fun once I managed to make it through the line.

Karate Calamity

2005-10-05T22:50:00.000-04:00

A strange thing happened today. Tonight is one of the nights I usually take Ben to his karate class. He’s been taking these classes for about 18 months now and just loves it. Karen and I were very happy to find this particular school with this particular sensei.

You see, Ben is not one for extracurricular activities. He’s not very sports-oriented and really hates any type of team sport because he lacks the coordination and gets frustrated very easily. We were happy when he agreed to try karate since we explained to him that he could learn at his own pace and he wasn’t really competing with anyone.

So Karen phoned around to different schools and found this one. What drew Karen to this particular school was her chat with the sensei. His approach was different from other schools. First of all, his curriculum for children is designed for children, not adapted from an adult curriculum. He also takes the approach of rewarding good behaviour instead of punishing bad behaviour – he feels that kids want attention and if he gives the attention to the kids who exhibit good behaviour, then the kids who don’t will change the way they act to get the attention too (it works).

The other thing that makes him a really good teacher is he gets to know each and every one of the kids and adapts his style to teach the kids in the way that reaches them the best. In Ben’s case, it is through using humour. If Ben is frustrated or overwhelmed by a task, no amount of commiserating, cajoling, or any other type of empathetic, coercive, or forceful response will motivate him. No, the way around Ben’s mental blocks is humour. Joke about the situation, mock it – or even him – in a fun way, just find any way to add humour to the situation and Ben will respond. This sensei grasped that right from the start and it’s one of the reasons Ben has done so well.

Back to the present – I took Ben to his class tonight and the dojo was locked. I wasn’t too concerned as this happens sometimes due to illness or other unforeseen circumstances. As we were heading back to the car, Ben’s sensei drove up. He told me he had something for me and asked me to follow him to the dojo. He did not seem well. He wasn’t his usual self.

When we got into the dojo, the place looked like it had been cleaned out. My heart sank. He handed me a letter which started off by saying that his accountant had made mistakes in his books and that the accountant, the karate business, and even his personal assets were being audited by the government. Because of this, he could not make the rent on his dojo and the school is shut for the time being.

Now I knew why he looked miserable. This is a person with high ethical values and integrity who teaches this to his students. He must be devastated to find that the government has found irregularities with his books.

I stayed and talked with him for a while. He is determined to get the school up and running again. He told me that he could either go on or quit and he feels that if he quits it will be going against everything that he has taught his students over the years.

He’s hoping to have a temporary facility lined up within a few weeks and start teaching again, albeit with a scaled-down schedule. Whenever he starts again, Ben will be there.

He told me that he feels that every challenge in life is a lesson that must be learned. Unless you learn that lesson, the challenges will continue to repeat themselves until you learn it. He’s had an up and down ride this year. He outgrew his original dojo at the beginning of the year. He negotiated with his landlord to move to the next unit over since it was about three times the size. Then, just as he moved in, he found out that the landlord leased his old unit to an adult video store. Well, he wasn’t going to have kids running back and forth in the evenings between the parking lot and that type of store, so he moved again only a month after taking the new unit.

I really hope things work out. He is a good person and he really does care for each of the kids he teaches.

My Favourite Music

2005-09-26T20:47:00.000-04:00

Karen kind of hinted at my preferred music in a recent post in her blog. It's true, to look at me, I look like a very clean-cut, quiet, conservative guy. But I really don't like a lot of the mainstream music. The music I really like is very dark and sometimes quite depressing. In no particular order, I would say my 10 favourite groups/artists would be:

Rammstein
The Smiths/Morrissey
Bauhaus
Depeche Mode
Ministry
New Order/Joy Division
David Bowie
The Cure
Skinny Puppy
Sorry I can't think of a 10th that would rate with the above list.

So why do I like this kind of music?

The first thing that attracts me to certain music is the way some music can just overwhelm your senses (even if it is not played at full volume). The wall of sound that is a New Order, Ministry or Rammstein song as it hits you and carries you with it. Or how about the industrial and very complex sound of Skinny Puppy. Then there is the downright spooky sound of the Cure and Bauhaus.

It was a dark and stormy night. Karen and I had only been going out for a
while and we were on a very dark highway in the rain. I put Bauhaus on. "Bela Lugosi is Dead" creeped Karen out so much that after 5 minutes she asked me to put other music on.

The other thing I listen for is good lyrics. When I listen to the Smiths or Morrissey, I hear very depressing (i.e. Girlfriend in a Coma, Panic, How Soon is Now, November Spawned a Monster, etc) lyrics, set to music that is quite often upbeat. Depressing music really cheers me up the most -- in fact much more than happy music. I think hearing Morrissey sing about being miserable makes me realize that no matter how bad I think things might be, my life is not as bad as a Smith's song.

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die

Two lovers entwined pass me by
and heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed
"You've been the house too long" she said
and I naturally fled

In my life
why do I smile
at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows I'm miserable now
"You've been the house too long" she said
and I naturally fled

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

I'm also very private about the music I like. We probably have all had to drive with people (family, friends, coworkers) who like to subject you to their favourite music over the course of a long drive. (Now, I know there are people out there who love Jazz, R&B, Country -- both New and Old -- and "Adult Contemporary" but I am not one of them.) However,when it is my turn to drive, the radio is usually off and I prefer to talk with my passengers.

When I'm in the car with Ben though we crank up the Rammstein.

Favourite Music in High School

2005-09-25T01:01:00.000-04:00

I saw this on another blog and decided to put it here. Here are the instructions:

1. Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com
2. Plug the year you graduated high school into the search engine at the top left of the page
3. Copy all of the songs from the Top 100 list.
4. Bold the ones you actually like.
5. Italicize the ones you never heard of (or don't remember)
6. Slap it in your LJ or Blog

I also added the UK Top 50 from the same year for added flavour. (I found it through a google search.) I could not find a Canadian list but I did find a list from my favourite radio station at the time.

US Top 100

1. When Doves Cry, Prince
2. What's Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner
3. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
4. Footloose, Kenny Loggins
5. Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now), Phil Collins
6. Jump, Van Halen
7. Hello, Lionel Richie
8. Owner Of A Lonely Heart, Yes
9. Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.
10. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
11. Missing You, John Waite
12. All Night Long (All Night), Lionel Richie
13. Let's Hear It For The Boy, Deniece Williams
14. Dancing In The Dark, Bruce Springsteen
15. Girls Just Want To Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper
16. The Reflex, Duran Duran
17. Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper
18. Jump (For My Love), Pointer Sisters
19. Talking In Your Sleep, Romantics
20. Self Control, Laura Branigan
21. Let's Go Crazy, Prince and The Revolution
22. Say It Isn't So, Daryl Hall and John Oates
23. Hold Me Now, Thompson Twins
24. Joanna, Kool and The Gang
25. I Just Called To Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder
26. Somebody's Watching Me, Rockwell
27. Break My Stride, Matthew Wilder
28. 99 Luftballons, Nena
29. I Can Dream About You, Dan Hartman
30. The Glamorous Life, Sheila E
31. Oh Sherrie, Steve Perry
32. Stuck On You, Lionel Richie
33. I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, Elton John
34. She Bop, Cyndi Lauper
35. Borderline, Madonna
36. Sunglasses At Night, Corey Hart
37. Eyes Without A Face, Billy Idol
38. Here Comes The Rain Again, Eurythmics
39. Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
40. Sister Christian, Night Ranger
41. Drive, Cars
42. Twist Of Fate, Olivia Newton-John
43. Union Of The Snake, Duran Duran
44. The Heart Of Rock 'N' Roll, Huey Lewis and The News
45. Hard Habit To Break, Chicago
46. The Warrior, Scandal
47. If Ever You're In My Arms Again, Peabo Bryson
48. Automatic, Pointer Sisters
49. Let The Music Play, Shannon
50. To All The Girls I've Loved Before, Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson
51. Caribbean Queen, Billy Ocean
52. That's All, Genesis
53. Running With The Night, Lionel Richie
54. Sad Songs (Say So Much), Elton John
55. I Want A New Drug, Huey Lewis and The News
56. Islands In The Stream, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
57. Love Is A Battlefield, Pat Benatar
58. Infatuation, Rod Stewart
59. Almost Paradise, Mike Reno and Ann Wilson
60. Legs, ZZ Top
61. State Of Shock, Jacksons
62. Love Somebody, Rick Springfield
63. Miss Me Blind, Culture Club
64. If This Is It, Huey Lewis and The News
65. You Might Think, Cars
66. Lucky Star, Madonna
67. Cover Me, Bruce Springsteen
68. Cum On Feel The Noize, Quiet Riot
69. Breakdance, Irene Cara
70. Adult Education, Daryl Hall and John Oates
71. They Don't Know, Tracy Ullman
72. An Innocent Man, Billy Joel
73. Cruel Summer, Bananarama
74. Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung
75. Give It Up, K.C
76. I'm So Excited, Pointer Sisters
77. I Still Can't Get Over Loving You, Ray Parker Jr.
78. Thriller, Michael Jackson
79. Holiday, Madonna
80. Breakin'... There's No Stopping Us, Ollie And Jerry
81. Nobody Told Me, John Lennon
82. Church Of The Poison Mind, Culture Club
83. Think Of Laura, Christopher Cross
84. Time Will Reveal, Debarge
85. Wrapped Around Your Finger, Police
86. Pink Houses, John Cougar Mellencamp
87. Round And Round, Ratt
88. Head Over Heels, Go-Go's
89. The Longest Time, Billy Joel
90. Tonight, Kool and The Gang
91. Got A Hold On Me, Christine McVie
92. Dancing In The Sheets, Shalamar
93. Undercover Of The Night, Rolling Stones
94. On The Dark Side, John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band
95. New Moon On Monday, Duran Duran
96. Major Tom (Coming Home), Peter Schilling
97. Magic, Cars
98. When You Close Your Eyes, Night Ranger
99. Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier
100. Yah Mo B There, James Ingram and Michael McDonald

The UK Top 50

DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS?, BAND AID
I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU, Stevie Wonder
RELAX, Frankie Goes To Hollywood
TWO TRIBES, Frankie Goes To Hollywood
CARELESS WHISPER, George Michael
LAST CHRISTMAS c/w EVERYTHING SHE WANTS (REMIX) Wham!
HELLO, Lionel Richie
AGADOO Black Lace
GHOSTBUSTERS Ray Parker Jnr
FREEDOM, Wham!
WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO, Wham!
I FEEL FOR YOU, Chaka Khan
WHITE LINES (DON'T DO IT) Grandmaster & Melle Mel
WE ALL STAND TOGETHER Paul McCartney & the Frog Chorus
99 RED BALLOONS, Nena
THE POWER OF LOVE, Frankie Goes To Hollywood
THE REFLEX, Duran Duran
LIKE A VIRGIN Madonna
AGAINST ALL ODDS (TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW) Phil Collins
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Tina Turner
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, Jim Diamond
NO MORE LONELY NIGHTS, Paul McCartney
I WANT TO BREAK FREE, Queen
HOLE IN MY SHOE, Neil
TIME AFTER TIME, Cyndi Lauper
RADIO GA GA, Queen
TOGETHER IN ELECTRIC DREAMS, Giorgio Moroder with Philip Oakey
WHEN DOVES CRY, Prince
DOCTOR, DOCTOR, The Thompson Twins
SELF CONTROL, Laura Branigan
THE WAR SONG, Culture Club
GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN, Cyndi Lauper
THE WILD BOYS, Duran Duran
I WON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME, NIk Kershaw
LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU WELL, Howard Jones
NELLIE THE ELEPHANT, The Toy Dolls
PRIDE (IN THE NAME OF LOVE), U2
AUTOMATIC, The Pointer Sisters
JOANNA, Kool & the Gang
THAT'S LIVING ALRIGHT, Joe Fagin
WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD, Nik Kershaw
STREET DANCE, Break Machine
SMALLTOWN BOY, Bronski Beat
BREAK MY STRIDE, Mathhew Wilder
THE RIDDLE, Nik Kershaw
DR BEAT, Miami Sound Machine
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY, Deniece Williams
NEVER ENDING STORY, Limahl
CARIBBEAN QUEEN (NO MORE LOVE ON THE RUN), Billy Ocean
WHATEVER I DO (WHEREVER I GO), Hazel Dean

CFNY (Toronto) Top 84

Psychedelic Furs - Mirror Moves
U2 - Unforgettable Fire
Simple Minds - Sparkle in the Rain
Depeche Mode - Some Great Reward
Bronski Beat - Age of Consent
Echo and the Bunnymen - Ocean Rain
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Welcome To the Pleasuredome
Thompson Twins - Into the Gap
The Smiths - Hatful of Hollow
Jane Siberry - No Borders Here
Howard Jones - Human's Lib
General Public - All the Rage
Blancmange - Mange Tout
Talk Talk - Its My Life
Bruce Cockburn - Stealing Fire
Alphaville - Forever Young
Style Council - My Ever Changing Moves
David Sylvian - Brilliant Trees
Alison Moyet - Alf
OMD - Junk Culture
Ultravox - Lament
Flock of Seagulls - Story of a Young Heart
The Cure - The Top
UB40 - Geffery Morgan
The Stranglers - Aural Sculpture
Waterboys - A Pagan Place
Fad Gadget - Gag
Siouxsie & The Banshees - Hyaena
Art of Noise - Who's Afraid of the Art of Noise
Parachute Club - At the Feet of the Moon
Tears for Fears - Mother's Talk
Thomas Dolby - The Flat Earth
Joe Jackson - Body and Soul
Tina Turner - Private Dancer
Billy Idol - Eyes Without a Face (12")
M+M - Mystery Walk
Tom Robinson - Hope & Glory
Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense
INXS - The Swing
Eurythmics - Sex Crime (1984)
Savage Progress - Celebration
Icicle Works - The Icicle Works
Level 42 - True Colours
Big Country - Steel Town
Aztec Camera - Knife
Malcolm McLaren - Madam Butterfly
Wang Chung - Points on the Curve
The Spoons - Tell No Lies
R.E.M. - Reckoning
The Fixx - Phantoms
Pukka Orchestra - Pukka Orchestra
Lotus Eaters - No Sense of Sin
Shriekback - Jam Science
Men Without Hats - Folk of the 80s
Divine - You Think You're a Man
SSQ - Playback
Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls
The Alarm - Declaration
Silent Running - Shades of Liberty
Juluka - Stand Your Ground
Icehouse - Sidewalk
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A.
Images in Vogue - Rituals
Orange Juice - The 3rd Album
Matt Bianco - Whose Side Are You On
Scritti Politti - Absolute
Nash the Slash - American Bandages
Dalbello - Whomanfoursays
Wham! - Make it Big
Comsat Angels - You Move Me (12")
Danse Society - Heaven is Waiting
Fiction Factory - Throw the Warped Wheel Out
Human League - Hysteria
Luba - Let it Go (12")
David Bowie - Tonight
Rough Trade - O Tempora! O Mores!
Elvis Costello - Goodbye Cruel World
Sherry Kean - People Talk
The Cars - Hello Again (12")
Paul Young - I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down
Mark Knopfler - The Long Road
Benjamin Russell - Miracle (12")
Prince - Purple Rain
Julian Lennon - Valotte

Two of my favourite quotes

2005-09-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

The corporate world is a funny place. It seems to take otherwise rational and likeable human beings and turn them into strange caricatures. When I mention this to people, some know what I mean and others can't see my point. It really boils down to two camps -- those who act the way they want to act, and those who act the way that they think their peers or superiors want them to act.

In my job, I visit a lot of different companies and meet a lot of different people. In general I find that people who live and work outside large metropolitan areas are more "real" -- they are more personable, friendly and understanding. Most of the people I find in larger cities and companies are the exact opposite.

I think that this second set of people tend to be more insecure. These people all in some way exhibit one or more of the following characteristics:

The need to be superior - These people always question everything you say and if they find a way to correct you, it is the prize that they can hold over you for the rest of the time you work with them. It does not matter if you are right on everything else, you were wrong once and they had the insight to see it. This is actually quite comical in the IT sector when you see the "geek wars" even among co-workers. It's the geek equivalent to picking the alpha geek or silverback (as in gorillas).
The need to be right - Have you ever met someone who is right all the time? I've met a number of such people and they hold their heads up high every time they are proven right and you never catch them when they are wrong. However, ask their co-workers. It seems these people from the invertebrate section can change their minds (and loyalties) so quickly that they are always right and never ever held the other opinion (unless a more powerful person takes that stance and then they bend back).
Always needs to say something - I used to work for a company where the 3 hour conference call was not unheard of. Now, I'm a person who loathes any type of meeting that seems to go on and on without a point. The people who pissed me off the most on these calls were the ones who sat silent throughout the call and then -- just as the meeting was wrapping up -- decided to put in their incoherent 2 cents worth for the next 10 minutes or so. I came to realize that their self-worth was based on them having said something -- anything -- during the meeting so that they can claim that they added to the conversation.
Never make a decision - I have had the misfortune of working with and for people like this. These are people who are in positions where decisions are expected and required and they refuse to make them. Usually they hide this in the form of "consensus building" or "individual development" or "getting advice from superiors". All of those are good things and have their place, but when the chips are down and a decision has to be made, those practices can also act as elegant stalling tactics. These Teflon-coated experts do this for a reason -- if the decision is wrong they can always cover themselves by blaming the person or people they "got input" from.

This entry has become a lot longer than I had originally intended. I was trying to come up with a lead-in to two quotes I believe came from Winston Churchill. Every day at work I think of one or both of these quotes as I apply them, or see their lack of application in others. You will have to excuse me if I do not get them the exact way they were spoken.

"It is better to be silent and thought a fool then to open up your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Every once in a while, people stumble across the truth. Most of the time they pick themselves up, brush themselves off, and continue on as though nothing had ever happened."

While I'm at it, I'll throw in Einstein's formula for a success:

Success = X + Y + Z

where

X=Work

Y=Play

Z=Keep your mouth shut

The Helpful Ghost

2005-09-15T00:04:00.000-04:00

My son got one of his first school assignments as homework last week. He had to write a paragraph describing what changes he would make to school for it to be ideal for him. They got time in class to do it, but with it being a written assignment, it came home to finish.

He had managed to come up with a point-form list of improvements (things like nocturnal schooling, being able to hear but not see your classmates, etc) but he was having problems building them in sentence form.

Karen told him to use his creativity to come up with the sentences. He looked at her and told her that his creativity had died. She told him to keep trying anyway.

A while later, he showed her the progress he had made. He was almost done. She told him that she thought his creativity had died. Without missing a beat he said:

"Yes. But its ghost comes back and helps me out sometimes."

When time drags on....

2005-09-11T21:38:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we went to our favourite games store to trade in some of the games we don't play anymore, and get some new ones (can't leave without new ones...). Everything was going well, I gave the clerk my games, gave him the ones we were buying and made the transaction.

Let me point out here that we were very hungry at this point. We had decided on which games we wanted going in and figured on a 5-10 minute time period to complete our business and go have lunch.

Once everything was done and my debit card debited, and the transaction rung in, the clerk paused, a look of shock came on his face and he told me that I was actually entitled to more of a trade in value since I traded in more than 5 games. So, I scratched the card and it worked out that he owed me another $5.50.

This is where his brain stopped working and time stood still.............

He looked at the other clerk and asked her what he could do. She was busy with other customers, but turned and told him to cancel the transaction, refund my money and start again. In fact she said it three times over the next 20 minutes.

Here's what he did:

Stared at the register. This apparently didn't work.
Tried to give me a $5.50 store credit. Hmmm, some person had programmed their system so that it would not let him give me money for no apparent reason.
Stared at the register in case it had changed its mind. The other clerk repeated her earlier instructions.
Started to enter a return for the items I had just purchased. Looked at the receipt for the games I traded in. Apparently the message on that was to stop since he then cancelled that transaction.
Stared at the register again. They seemed to be having a contest because the register stared right back at him. Who knows what he saw that time.
Asked the other clerk again what to do. This was the third time he heard the same thing.
Stared at the register some more. Obviously it had not heard the other clerk and was not in a cooperative mood.
Then the light bulb came on. "Sir, would you consider one of the $7.99 Xbox games? I will give it to you for free." He was obviously very proud of himself to find a way out of this. Ben actually found a $7.99 pre-played game that looked half decent. It will probably be a trade-in in due course. I took it back to him. He rang it in.
Stared at the register some more. I think they were communing this time and the register told him something. I think the answer was NO.
Ran to the back room after "I'll be right back, sir".
He came back and completed the transaction after appeasing the cash register with an offering of money. I'm pretty sure he paid $3.69 of his own money just to get me out of the store. For some reason the system would not allow him to discount a game for no apparent reason.

You know, there were times when I was tempted to tell him just to forget it, but the customers being served right beside me by the other clerk were getting their extra trade in. I just think that if I had been served by her, then everything would have gone smoothly or - at the very least - she would have been able to follow her own instructions once she discovered the mistake.

When the three of us hungry souls finally got out of there, Karen looked at me and told me it was all her fault. I asked her why. She said that she was just thinking that morning that time never goes by slowly for her anymore. She always seems to have the opposite problem where it goes by way too quickly. This was the fates reminding her of how slow time can pass.

Getting to know each other

2005-09-07T21:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my son Ben's first day of school. He is in an accelerated class this year so half the class were completely new this year since they all came from different schools (the class is a grade 5/6 combined so the half that is grade 6 were there last year).

As an introductory exercise, each kid was asked to write two truths about themselves and one "fib". Ben wrote:

I am evil.
My favourite sport is hockey.
I love computer games.

He was quite upset that he only fooled one person. The rest correctly figured out that the "fib" was number 2.

My son always seems to cheer for the bad guy. When we were at Disney watching a "heroes and villains" parade, his loudest cheers were for Darth Vader. He also likes the Evil Overlord list I have linked on my page. It's a must-read for all future evil geniuses.

Double Take

2005-09-07T21:21:00.000-04:00

This happened yesterday and while I can honestly say I wasn't offended, this situation brought home how attitudes can change quickly...

I was helping out a colleague finish an assignment at one of our customers. The customer is a fairly good sized community hospital in a town of about 50,000 people.

Well, the job we were doing required us to walk through almost every part of the hospital. Yesterday we had to get into one area called "Workplace Safety and Rehabilitation" but it was after 4:00 and it was closed. We managed to find a security guard to let us in and while my co-worker was checking out some offices, I noticed the small basket on the reception counter.

You probably know the type of basket I mean, it usually has mints, wrapped candies or jelly beans. Well, I do have a sweet tooth so I went to take a look. To my surprise, they were condoms - flavoured condoms. (My brain paused for a moment to take this in and verify what I saw).

Now, I was stunned (seeing as I had been looking forward to an edible sweet) but it made me realize just how much they are now a part of society.

It did make me wonder what kind of Workplace Safety issues they have at the hospital.

When is the "right time" to buy a car?

2005-08-27T21:37:00.000-04:00

I know I need a new car - or do I?

This is a question that has been bugging me for over a year now. I drive a 1997 Subaru with about 280,000 km (175,000 mi) on it. The car runs fine, is comfortable, is great on gas and gets me through snow like you would not believe.

Sure, for an 8 year old, high-mileage car you can expect some quirks. The most annoying thing is that there is a problem with one of the sensors in the engine that I almost always have the "Check Engine" light on. The mechanics have replaced the sensor and short of ripping the wires out and replacing them, I don't really know what would solve this problem.

So do I replace this car or not? If I do, should I go new or used again (I bought this one when it was three years old and just off lease)?

I drive about 40,000km (or 25,000mi) annually so I can't really lease unless I fully intended to buy out the lease at the end. So it's really buy a new car or buy a used car. A new car would cost a lot of money monthly to finance. I have been looking at used, but for the cars I want, the prices still seem to be too high.

Sigh. So that is my dilemma. I'm sure within the next year I will break down and get rid of the car I have now. I only hope whatever I get will be as reliable and last as long as my current car.

So, what do you do for a living?

2005-08-25T21:00:00.000-04:00

It's really a simple question. However it can be a very hard one to answer.

It's a question I dread when I am in a social situation meeting people who are not familiar with my particular specialty in the technology field. But it always comes up:

So Mike, What is it that you do?

Sigh

I'm a sales engineer.

Interested look

Oh, what do you sell?

Gulp.

I design and sell network solutions for customers.

Blank stare.

Uh huh.

Oh-oh.

I deal with the parts that connect all the computers together.

Look of realization.

Oh, you work with computers!

Resignation (on my part).

Kind of.

The conversation topic usually changes at this point.

I guess that's what you get when you get into a high level of abstraction in any field. Unless you are in the networking field, networks are hard to understand (and pretty boring for most normal people). And when you start to add wireless, telephony and security on top of plain old routing and switching into the conversation, most people will find somewhere else (anywhere) to be.

So, I long ago resigned myself that unless I am with people in the same line of work I should never try to talk about what I do in anything but very abstract terms (usually an analogy to plumbing). I have family that work in cosmetic manufacturing, automotive manufacturing, utilities, and even a University biology lab. They can hold people enthralled by stories of their work and what they have to do.

Me, I can talk about current events, politics the latest jokes, gardening, sports - whatever - and I can hold up my side of a conversation. But if I try to talk about work to someone not intimately familiar with the internetworking field I start to hear the crickets chirping.

So I smile and say:

Yeah, I work with computers.

Now that's what I call gone.

2005-08-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

Talking about how I got rid of the previous content of this blog reminded me of a recent exchange with my son. Now, for those of you who have not read my wife Karen's blog, we have a 9 year old son named Ben. I find that every day with Ben is an adventure in seeing the development of a very unique mind.

This particular situation stemmed from an assignment he had to do for his Karate school. Ben's sensei believes in developing the whole person so every month they get assignments on different subject such as respect, humility, etc.

Well, Ben was having problems completing the assignment. I reminded him that at his last Karate class the whole class discussed the assignment and got answers to all of the questions. All he had to do was write them down.

Ben, in his particular style, told me:

Well, I forgot most of it. The part that is left was shredded, minced, burned, recycled, turned into toilet paper, used and then flushed.

In other words, there wasn't really much of it left.

After Karen and I both stopped laughing, we gave him the direction he needed to find the answers again.

Starting Over...

2005-08-24T09:47:00.000-04:00

I took a look at how my original post to this blog were progressing and I wasn't really happy with the way it looked. I mean, I am a disorganized person, but when I read the postings they didn't sound like me.

So, they're gone.

Deleted.

Wiped out.

Instead, I will post whatever strikes me as postable material. This could be things about the world, my life or my family. We'll see if this approach stands the test of time.